He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
