is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
