Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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