I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
