Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
