DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize