chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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