He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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