carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
