I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
