how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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