Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
