he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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