i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize