on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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