Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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