it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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