hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
