I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
