smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
