omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
