I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
