Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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