His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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