The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
