since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
