So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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