If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
