bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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