so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
