great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
