I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
