were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
They are going to name an STD after you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
