my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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