Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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