you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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