It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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