I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
