the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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