I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize