I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
