dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
