Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
