So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
