oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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