woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
