Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
