I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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