omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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