And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
