I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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