She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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