some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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