This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
