i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
