he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
