this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
