It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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