I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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