You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
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my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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