Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
