Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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