I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
