Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
