girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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