I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
