we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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